I don't really ever remember feeling so low. About myself. About my friends. About my boyfriend and my family. Everything. It comes in waves. Hard and unexpected. If I distract myself with company, i'm perfectly fine. But its the hours and days that I'm not with people that it consumes me.
Went to blacksburg yesterday. Minus the whole speeding ticket thing, it was the happiest I remember being (without my boyfriends help..) all summer. I just had lunch with friends. Drank a little, talked a lot, watched TV and fell asleep. That only goes to prove that I don't need crazy nights of partying and attention. I just need company. To make me realize how lucky I am to have all of these people in my life.
I feel this shit affecting people. My parents, Jason, my friends who are tired of hearing about it. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I feel like there's a solution somewhere. I just need to find it. Something that makes me happy, not bored, that isn't dependent on other people being around me for it. Until I can return to my home and feel at peace again. Help me find that. If you read this.. I need help.
I love you. I'm sorry if this has somehow affected you.
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