C-c-c-changing

Alright so I always brag about "how much I love change! It's so exciting! And thrilling!"

But... all this new change is freaking me out. I mean.. I do love change.. but as long as I have stability.. thats how i've always been.

Things that have changed:

I am not a freshman anymore. Bittersweet.. but for now.. bitter.

PAB does not exist anymore. Henderson is the NEW PAB and its big and clean and..weird

My old phone broke so I got a new snazzy keyboardy phone. Not a big deal for most. HUGE deal for me.

Things with him are new and odd. He's making friends. I'm keeping the old. Just new territory.

I am NO longer in a dorm. I walked towards my dorm the other day to go to a building near it..and it felt so right and familiar. I got teary-eyed. I love my apartment I really really do. But its so much to get used to.

What is the same? What can I depend on? Not D2 dinners.. its too far. Not the PAB lounge.. it doesn't exist. What? Tell me what!

The internets down and.. my homework's not started.

College is just as I remember. I'm glad because it did feel very unfamiliar for a while.

Rehearsals are picking up.. my lines ARENT memorized. I have a scene for IPI already in which.. I get abused and nearly raped but only AFTER we "neck" on the floor for a while. Demanding? I think so. Good physical work though. 

So although I want to stop prefacing things because I really have realized I do it far too often (right now..), I want to explain my choice of new blog. My old blog (truemeaning.livejournal.com) was my old life. It was all of highschool and only a few updates from last year of college. And now that blogging is COOL again (I swear livejournal was the coolest thing in 8th grade.. go check out my old posts.. they're hilarous) I figured I'd start a fresh new clean one. 

I don't necessarily want to update on my life. Tell how things are or what i'm doing. But maybe I do? I just need a place to type. A place to write. Well..when my internet isn't broken. Which is is so this is a miracle i'm even writing this.

This will get personal. I don't want to guard my feelings anymore. They aren't guarded but I need to publish. Not for attention, not for vanity but for myself. So here.. begin a new chapter, a new blog, a new year.

First is the worst

I'm not going to preface anything.. because I need to stop prefacing thing. Be bolder.

The best actors are the the best livers.