Christmas time is here

Merry Christmas, friends.

I love you all so much! Hope your Christmas is so wonderful!

A Melody in my head that I can't keep out

Hola everybody! Don't know where i've been the past few weeks. Wherever it was it was obviously a place where I couldn't update my blog. Because..oops! Haven't been very good at that.

There really isn't much going on in my life right now. Pretty low-key and relaxing. Sometimes on the verge of boring but thats what being snowed-in in an already boring town can do to you!

Started/finishing filming for "The Big Idea" with the OhGood boys yesterday. The shoot went really well. 7 hour day! Yeesh. I'm still playing with the idea of being a film actor.. I like the idea. I think its all really interesting. However, I really have yet to fully jump into a character as I do on the stage. It's so so SO difficult to be in a character for 8 seconds and then hear cut than it is to stay in one for an hour and a half. Also, i'm super hypercritical. So whenever I see footage of me played back, I never like it. I guess thats why some of the big leagues never watch their films.. it makes sense to me.

Still trying to find New Years plans. No clue what they could be. Supposed to go to Wintergreen for a skiing weekend with some friends from school but the house (that NEVER gets rented!) is rented over New Years. Searching desperately for a plan B. Help out if you can..

Going to Busch Gardens today for Christmastown! Originally I was supposed to go and see Jason since its in the middle of us, but now my whole family wants to go. Wish him luck!

Thats all for now. Merry Christmas! Hope its wondahful!

And you hiding behind your camera

Quick thought:

What is it with our fascination about performing real life? So many times we, as actors, try to portray real life so accurately. We scrutinize reality to try to mimic it for the stage, or screen. But why can't we just live our lives. Not analyzing but living. When can we forget how to copy, and start really being.

She says you're a masochist for falling for me

Hello friends.

Haven't quite updated in a long time. I've been busy. Oh thats not true. I had all of thanksgiving break but.. okay really there's no excuse. Take my apology, please.

Othello was a blur. I can't believe its over. I feel like I might have been the lone person who was sad to see it go. Everyone was kind of over it. But I loved it. It was the first time that I could shine. And I feel like I did.

I made another show for next semester! Yep another "rehearse all semester for a show at the end of the semester" show. Two shows my sophomore year. Tied for last year. If you can say that really..

Break was fun. It was fun being with my family but I always kind of turn into this odd person I don't recognize with my family. I mean I have fun but i'm the baby. So.. i'm not really included. So I slink off every now and then. Take a long bathroom break just to sit by myself. Its odd. But I can't really help it. It's kind of how i've always been

School is great. I love it. I've missed it. Home was kind of boring besides crazy family time. The routine of school is just so nice. Its familiar but unpredictable. Its my family away from family. I love it here. And things.. are really great in that department that is :)

I'm not thinking about the end of the next two weeks. I just.. don't want to think of it. It'll come. I'll prepare as much or as little as possible. But I'm going to just.. relax. For now.

Nostalgia choking sight

Got bored in class today and started looking at my old AOL emails and Gmail Emails. Found some stuff that made me smile. Found some stuff that made me cry. It was very interesting.

I've realized how much I've changed.

I've realized how much I haven't changed.

Since college I've thought that the high school friends were the "petty" relationships. They were superficial and not real. But, I think i've proved myself wrong. I love my college friends/family. They're wonderful. But they don't know me like my home friends do (all three of them..). They don't know my family. My house. How theres NOTHING to do in Short Pump. I mean.. I can create new stuff with them.. but its not the same. I think I got things mixed up..

I also saw a lot more exboyfriend stuff than I wanted to. Really good/cute things. And then the awful. I got really uncomfortable when I read that one.

I saw friends who I haven't thought of in years. I remembered words I used to say. Things I used to think about. I feel like the past was so solid. I feel very shaky about the present. But is that how it works? The present is unbalanced until its the past? Then it firms and hardens?

Haha the best was one chat conversation in which I liked four boys at once. That was my delimma. HAH!

Time to go act. Shows almost done. VERY sweet/sour. The good thing is I got cast in Dark Play for next semester :) that makes me very very happy.

I might update with more thoughts on the past..

I will take the chain from off the door

I have the worst timing.. ever.

Always and forever.

Show opens tomorrow. Here goes nothing..

Look to her Moor

Six hours of doing...nothing.

I'm called for Tech but... considering we've spent six hours and we're not even into Act 2? Don't need to be here. I won't be doing ANYTHING on stage tonight.

I mean.. I guess I wouldn't really be doing anything else anyway. Just laying around. Sleeping. Watching movies. But still.. i'd rather be on my couch than in a theatre where i'm forced to lay down in the hallway.

I'm watching Shakespeare in love. I keep smiling through it. For many reasons. Billy and I have really had a great semester together. Considering i'm doing Othello, learned a shakesperian monologue and scene for ipi and now am watching this.. we're really close.

I guess i'll go back to...sleeping? Watching a movie. Ugh.